Take The Helicopter Parent Test

02/09

Being a parent isn’t easy and every parent wants his or her child to “have it easier than they did,” right? Where do you draw the line in being involved and making it easier to becoming a helicopter parent, one who hovers over every aspect of your child’s life?

While helicopter parenting (lawnmower parenting and Blackhawk parenting) are relatively new terms, the actions have likely been around as long as there have been parents and children. Helicopter parents hover over a child’s every activity; lawnmower parents mow down all obstacles in a child’s path; and Blackhawk parenting was coined for those who sometimes cross the line in parenting…even going as far as to complete a child’s college essay for him or her.

While it may be tempting to smooth the path for your child, and while you certainly do need to take an interest in his or her life and remain involved, there are lines that need to be drawn or your child may never learn to stand on his or her own feet. Are you a helicopter or lawnmower parent? Here are some clues:

Are you always looking ahead for potential risks and obstacles and trying to remove them? Do you think that every day and everything your child attempts needs to come easily to them and you’ll do whatever you can to make that happen? Facing adversity builds character. Let your child struggle, and even fail.

Do you expect your child to call you every day? Does he or she have to check in before undertaking an activity and then report the outcome following it? Remember, your child will grow by learning to make decisions and being independent.

A failing score on a paper or a grade not as high as you anticipated on a test was handed down to your child. Do you pick up the phone or dash off an email to the professor demanding an explanation as to the grade? Do you think it’s the professor’s fault that your child didn’t excel? Do you forget that your child’s grades should be based on his or her own dedication to studying, not your interference in the grading system?

All parents want to see their child succeed, but reaching for, and perhaps sometimes not reaching, a goal will teach them to adapt in life and learn to stand on their own. Step back and let your child attain a goal based on his or her own hard work alone. It’s the best parenting move you can make.

Myra Lee is a middle school teacher. Like other teachers and administrators in her school, she earned an online degree and strongly believes in online education for working professionals.